


Professor Tony Stark

by RevelingLabyrinth



Series: The Daily Antics of the Avengers [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Don't Judge Me, Humor, M/M, No one is serious in this fic, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, This is because of boredom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 08:42:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2501597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RevelingLabyrinth/pseuds/RevelingLabyrinth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor asks sexual questions that Tony has no trouble answering. He even gives Thor a demonstration with a little help from Bruce.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Professor Tony Stark

It was early afternoon when the two scientists stumbled out of the lab. They've been in there for almost a full two days and finally succumbed to the urge to eat. They both ventured into the common kitchen where Thor and Steve were lounging in the living room, talking. The coffee maker was automatically put on as Tony rummaged through the fridge in search for something edible. Bruce leaned against the island, rubbing at his heavy lidded eyes. Usual conversation was tampered down at this point. Tony would mumble nonsense and Bruce would simply grunt in response or not answer at all.

Once food and coffee were in both of their systems they started acting like themselves; Tony being obnoxious and Bruce being evasive and skittish.

“Are Midgardians strict with their sexual endeavors?” Thor was asking, since Steve escaped the living room with his face beet red. Tony found himself over near Thor, taking a seat on the opposite couch.

“Well, I know I’m not.” Tony answered, sipping his coffee without a care.

“Some sexual acts are… frowned upon, Thor.” Bruce countered, leaning against the kitchen island, with his arms crossed. He placed his mug of coffee next to him, easy to reach.

Tony looked Bruce’s way with one eyebrow raised, “Oh? How long has it been since you had sex Banner?”

“Too long,” Bruce mumbled, “I still know about it Tony. I’m not a virgin.”

“Oh-ho! So the doctor has experience!” Now both of Tony’s eyebrows were raised, his voice lathered in amusement.

Thor inquired, “Have you not copulated since your change, Dr. Banner?”

All eyes were on Bruce and it was making him uncomfortable. Bruce shifted his weight to his other foot before reluctantly answering, “Uh… no. It’s kind of difficult. Being on the run and alone all the time.”

“But you have stopped running; you are among friends.”

“Thor brings up a good point, Banner. There are a lot of people here that you can… get to know better.” Tony was smirking now, enjoying the situation before him.

“Yes! If you are in need all you must do is ask doctor!” Thor exclaimed, all seriousness.

Bruce was at a loss for what to say; his mouth fell slightly open in an aborted attempt at a response.

“Is… is this an act that, how did you say it, frowned upon? Midgard doth not copulate with two males?” Thor asked a little deflated.

“Midgard doth!” Tony bellowed, raising his mug in the air as if to toast it, “Behind closed doors anything can happen, Thor. You need to watch some porn.”

“Thor, don’t go to porn to answer your questions. It’s inaccurate.” Bruce sighed while adjusting his glasses that were slipping off his face. He wasn't sure why he cared what Thor did or didn't do when it came to… that.

“Are you… offering up your services Bruce? I didn't think you had it in you.” Bruce flinched at the suggestion like it was a physical blow. He glanced at Tony in unconcealed surprise. He quickly masked it by choosing that time to sip at his own, cooling coffee.

“You will show me the answers doctor? Most fitting!” Thor got up then and pumped his fist in the air, taking a step towards Bruce.

“…No. Tony will.” Bruce pointed in Tony’s direction with his helpful mug. He, honestly, didn't know what he'd do with that sort of attention today. Most likely, run. Again. “He would be a sex god if he weren't human,” Bruce finished. He would never admit he was having a sliver of fun with his comebacks.

Tony sat up and finished off his coffee, “Oh, you sly fucker.”

“We went over this; it’s been awhile since I ‘fucked’, as you eloquently put it. My answers may be inaccurate as well.” Bruce kept his cool, treating this potentially chaotic situation as if it was a scientific problem.

“Then we shall learn together, Banner, under the man of iron’s tutelage!” Thor boomed.

“Oh, this is rich.” Tony snickered, placing his empty mug on the coffee table between him and Thor, wanting to see where Bruce would take this.

“You may miss some key information, Thor. How about you have a private tutoring session with Tony?”

“Hm, a very good point, doctor,” Thor liked these preliminary actions; maybe his friends will have a deeper bond from this act.

“I underestimated you, Banner.” Tony slowly applauded, mirth washing off of him in waves.

“Your first mistake,” Bruce replied.

“My _last_ mistake; you’re getting a tutoring session too.” Tony chose that time to get up and walk over to Bruce.

Bruce didn’t respond. He instead found much importance in finishing off his own coffee.

“In fact, lesson _numero uno_ , Thor: Seduction and Kissing.” Tony got to where Bruce was standing, smirking at his friend with confidence.

Bruce started to shimmy away from the island, discarding his mug on the granite as he went.

“Ah-ah, Bruce. I need a volunteer, one that isn't Thor. Look closely, Thor, at our reactions.”

Thor looked like a happy puppy. Bruce looked sick.

“Oh, sure, let’s sexually frustrate the doctor with a radiating monster within him; perfect plan,” muttered Bruce.

“Have faith. The Big Guy may like it too.” Tony moved in. Trapping Bruce right back in his spot before, against the island, he placed both arms on each side of him.

“Don’t joke.” Bruce tensed; he started to look like a scared rabbit.

“Mm,” Tony’s face came closer to his. Bruce, for the life of him, was wishing he was anywhere else than where he was now, he could feel himself getting flustered, feel the Other Guy stir. Bruce quickly tamped down his turmoil and sighed gently right before Tony’s lips touched his.

It was tentative at first, seeking, tasting. Bruce was expecting rough and demanding, the way Tony instigated this situation to begin with. Tony pressed in closer, taking Bruce’s stillness as a go ahead. Bruce had yet to freak out on him, so he continued. Tony’s lips moved along Bruce’s soft ones. Tony’s eyes were slightly open, alert to any sign that Bruce liked it or didn’t. Bruce was still motionless. Tony could tell he was trying his best not to feel a damn thing. That was fine with Tony, he liked a challenge.

Tony flicked his tongue out, tasting Bruce’s bottom lip; Bruce’s fingers twitching didn’t escape Tony’s attention. Grinning into the kiss Tony applied more pressure to Bruce’s unmoving lips, bringing his teeth forward, nipping away. Bruce instinctively parted his lips slightly, as if giving Tony permission to enter if he so chooses. Tony took the bait before Bruce could think on what he just did. Tony wrapped an arm around Bruce, bringing his stiff body forward, pressing their bodies together. His mouth nudging Bruce’s more open so his tongue could slip through. Tony parted for a second, letting Bruce get air before going back on the offensive. He tackled Bruce’s tongue, making sure the muscles tangoed in sync.

Bruce, at that moment, had one hand gripping the island and the other clutching at Tony’s arm that was wrapped around him. He didn't know when he moved his arms but they were there. He was feeling more than he wanted to with this one kiss. Any hint that Bruce let drop that he liked that maneuver or this move, Tony pounced on it and worried it until Bruce was on the verge of melting. Bruce was participating now, coming in close without Tony’s urging, caressing their hips together, biting on Tony’s lips, finding little cues that Tony liked and worrying at it like Tony did. Tony made an appreciative sound when Bruce was responding in kind. As soon as Bruce got on equal footing with Tony, the playboy upped the stakes.

Bruce felt his pulse quicken and his lips swell; he abruptly ended the kiss, hearing the island crack. He quickly let go of Tony’s arm before he could break it too and looked at Tony’s satisfied expression.

“Most exquisite; it is the same on Asgard.”

Bruce was breathless. His cheeks were red and _damn it all_ , he forgot Thor was watching them.

Tony was smirking and licked his lips once more.

“Excuse me,” Bruce nearly squeaked and pushed his way past Tony and out of the room.

“Well then, Thor,” Tony queried, touching his bottom lip with two fingers, before turning to face the God, “Lesson _numero dos_ …”


	2. Thor's Glory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has a more... hands-on approach when he teaches.

Thor and Tony ended up in the God’s room. Tony didn’t really care which room they frisked in, but he did want Thor to feel as comfortable as possible. Of course, that would suggest Thor was nervous about the near future prospects.

“Are you sure we should not see how Dr. Banner is doing? He seemed to need this more than I at this time.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll check on him tomorrow. He’d want to calm down in his own little bubble right now.”

Thor gave Tony a half understanding look. Tony didn’t impart any clarification. He instead went to Thor’s bed and sat down looking in Thor’s direction. His gaze changed as his eyes roved over Thor’s body. Tony leaned back slightly, balancing his upper weight on his hands a bit behind him. He leered at the god, his eyes smoldering as Tony chose that time to slowly bite his lip and rolled his body suggestively. “I’m going to show you how we play on Earth.”

A noise came from Thor, half between a surprised huff and a growl. Thor came forward, shedding his tight clothing as he did.

"That's it. Strip for me." Tony whispered, getting comfortable for the show.

Thor slowed in his undressing. Letting Tony see his biceps flex as he hefted his cream cotton shirt over his head. His torso rippled as he stretched for Tony’s benefit. An elated sigh was heard for Thor’s considerations. In times like these Midgardian clothes were easier to discard. His slacks and briefs were next; he rolled his hips out of it wanting to get another reaction out of Tony. Tony didn't disappoint; his eyes lit up and widened slightly. He knew Thor had way more experience than him, but hot damn to experience it in the flesh. The way he moved as if laying out promises for the near future.

Tony’s hands fisted; temptation was not going to win so easily. Not when he finally had this opportunity before him. He was planning on savoring it.

Naked now, Thor stood before Tony, half aroused already. Tony sat up and beckoned Thor to step forward. The god obliged. Tony lightly pressed his digits against Thor's upper thigh. Trailing up to his navel, he made it obvious that he was going to be a tease. Thor did not complain. He stayed standing, his Glory at attention beside Tony's left cheek, ignored for now. Tony's mouth was so close; Thor could envision the moist heat it would welcome.

Tony shuffled forward a bit as if he was going to do just that, but his mouth ascended past the desired location, lightly kissing Thor’s hip bone. His hands were not idle; both of them found Thor’s lower back, sprinkling it with ghost touches. Thor’s eyes twinkled with amusement but let Tony take the lead.  Tony’s head went back to Thor’s more than adequate sized cock. He had half a mind to stop with the games and go straight to the finish line, but he held himself back for once. He let his hot breath brush over Thor’s godhood and was rewarded with a twitch. Grasping his penis with one firm hand, Tony tugged once, getting a groan for his trouble. Tony nipped at Thor’s inner thighs before softly kissing the slight sting away. His other hand was busy groping the god’s ass. He couldn't help it, it had to be done. One of his fantasies was blissfully prancing off his bucket list.

Thor’s hand brushed through his hair briefly, before grasping it tightly and rocking his hips towards Tony. His proud cock rubbed against his cheek now.

“Mm, pushy there,” Tony breathed. Damn, but if that didn't go straight to his dick. Maybe he should tease the god more.  Thor glided his Glory towards Tony’s lips and he greedily obliged. Thor pushed in with a sigh as Tony began to bob his head back and forth without Thor’s urgings. Tony’s hand came back to hold Thor at his base. Thrusting his hand in the path his mouth withdrew from and following that pattern. Thor’s breathing was starting to hitch at times as he resisted rocking his hips in tandem to Tony’s ministrations.

Tony wasn't done with him yet. His brown eyes looked up at Thor’s as he continued. He flicked his tongue over the tip a few times before upping the ante. Thor shuddered visibly as Tony tasted a dot of pre-come. It had a little zing to it that the genius was curious about.

Abruptly Thor lifted Tony up from his shoulders and brought them both back down on the middle of the bed. Tony gave out an undignified squeak that he will never admit he uttered. Thor basically smothered him as he came forward, capturing Tony’s lips in a kiss. Tony knew, then, that Thor didn't need to be taught anything. It didn't take long for Tony to moan for more and not knowing really, what of.

He heard the god chuckling as he hovered above Tony, “A moment, to catch your breath.”

“Oh no, I need nothing of the sort,” Tony huffed. “What we do need is some lube. Like yesterday.”

“I’ve heard of this “lube” before.  Is it similar to butter or saliva?”

Tony paused from scrambling off the bed, trying to mask his slightly disturbed face at the word “butter”. There were times where he found himself using saliva. It wasn't his greatest moments. He was young.  “Remind me to never ‘do the do’ in Asgard. Sounds painful and all that.”

“Quite the contrary,” Thor said as Tony came back to the bed with a bottle of the stuff. Tony pushed Thor down then, laying him on his back as he straddled him. “There are numerous ways to feel pleasure; especially if the source is pain.”

Tony licked his lips at that statement. He didn't mind a little pain, but nothing too drastic. He decided that Thor was talking too much at the moment and thought to show him another demonstration.

“Look at me, Thor.” His voice deepened a note as he slicked his fingers up and pressed one at his entrance. Once he knew he had Thor’s attention Tony slipped one finger inside himself. He instinctively tensed but forced himself to relax. He breathed out slowing as he worked himself open. A second finger joined the first soon after.  He started to rock on his own fingers, putting on a show for his fellow Avenger. Thor’s eyes dilated at the spectacle.

“Magnificent,” Thor breathed as Tony moaned in response. He shouted once he felt a much larger digit press against his two. It was also slick and pushing in without hesitation. Tony withdrew his fingers, in favor of grinding on Thor’s finger. In his rising lustful haze, Tony saw Thor bite his lip. One hand grasped Tony’s hip as a second finger entered, making quick work to find his prostate. His back arched once it was found and he cried out. Thor, the bastard, kept on hitting that spot. Now would be a good time to tell him Tony could come from just this.  
  
“Thor—Wait… I want,” Tony stammered, pushing at the hand that was up his ass.

“What is it that you want? If your answer suffices I will give it to you.”

The smug fucker thought Tony would be coy about it. _Wrong person buddy,_ “I want your cock up my ass, pronto.” He was panting now, “I swear if you keep o-on, _fuck._ ” His brain short circuited for a moment as Thor’s fingers jammed in quite roughly. “Cock. In me. Now.”

Thor grinned as he withdrew his fingers. Tony actually, _oh god why_ , whined as he clenched on nothing, “Under man of iron’s tutelage, my ass.”

Laughter erupted, “We are doing just that!" Thor rolled his hips to brush against Tony above him, to emphasize his point. "Or am I teaching you something Man of Iron?”

Tony didn't answer for once as he descended carefully upon Thor. They both gasped as Thor breached him.  


“Fuck, shit. _Dothatagain_ ,” Tony moaned as Thor had bucked up all the way, sending a burst of pleasure through him. Far be it from Tony to say that Thor didn’t aim to please.

A pace built up between them: impatient, all consuming. Tony deliberately slowed down, grinding his hips on Thor. A guttural sound was his reward. Tony pressed his hands on Thor’s chest as he thrust himself upon the god, arching his back purposefully to get his sweet spot. He was moaning profusely now. He was close and he knew he was driving Thor to the same goal.

Thor clutched his hips then, “I'm going to make you cum untouched.” He growled, with a hint of urgency. Tony didn't know what Thor could possibly—

A shock, tiny shocks skittered up his sides, spanning out to his abdomen and down his own cock. It was too much, too sudden. The shots of pleasure sent him over the edge, dragged a keening noise out of his throat as his eyes rolled back in completion.

Thor was close behind. Tony, clenching almost painfully around him was the main factor of spilling his seed in the man riding him. Tony shivered from the aftershocks, before practically collapsing on top of Thor.

“We… We need to do that again.” Tony huffed, getting a rumbling laugh from Thor.

“Just to let you know,” Tony continued. “You are now dubbed Big Thunder.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't shoot me if they're too OOC! I'll take a slap on the wrist at maximum... with another hand. I'd prefer a feather if at all possible.


End file.
